The first week of nursery drop-offs can feel brutal. Your child clings, screams, and looks at you as though you've betrayed them. Understanding the psychology behind it helps you both get through it.
It's normal
Separation anxiety peaks between eight months and two years. Anna Freud's research established that protest, followed by adjustment, is the expected pattern - not a sign of damage. Most children settle within two to four weeks.
The settling-in period
Short visits with you present, then slightly longer with you stepping out, building to full sessions. Take a comfort object from home. Don't rush this even if your child seems fine on day one.
At drop-off
Keep goodbyes warm but brief. "I'll be back after lunch" with a quick kiss. Never sneak away - this teaches them you can vanish without warning, making anxiety worse. Don't keep returning if they cry - most children stop within five to ten minutes.
When to worry
If your child is still very distressed after three to four weeks, develops new sleep problems, refuses food, or regresses in toilet training, speak to their key worker. A good nursery will adapt their approach.